This was a really helpful distinction between good and bad boundaries that prompted healthy introspection. What are the roots and fruits of a boundary? Am I choosing this boundary as a barrier or a bridge? Am I weaponizing a boundary to protect myself, avoid conflict, and exacerbate the wound of alienation (mine and theirs)? Or can I use a boundary to build healthier relationships where my needs and the needs of others are being met?
Love this brother … another observation when I facilitate workshops in the HIVĀ space is that boundaries become problematic when we constantly shift them to advance the self vs shifting boundaries to advance the other. People do a lot of vā shifting to box in their walls … a bad way of using boundaries .
Enjoyed this! Also made me think of the book The Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong (David Orr). Another place where the popular conclusion seems to fall apart once you dig into the whole poem!
This was a really helpful distinction between good and bad boundaries that prompted healthy introspection. What are the roots and fruits of a boundary? Am I choosing this boundary as a barrier or a bridge? Am I weaponizing a boundary to protect myself, avoid conflict, and exacerbate the wound of alienation (mine and theirs)? Or can I use a boundary to build healthier relationships where my needs and the needs of others are being met?
Thanks for the metrics.
Thanks Emily. Roots and fruits. Barrier or Bridge. Beautiful descriptions for what I'm trying to capture here. You are a brilliant writer.
Love this brother … another observation when I facilitate workshops in the HIVĀ space is that boundaries become problematic when we constantly shift them to advance the self vs shifting boundaries to advance the other. People do a lot of vā shifting to box in their walls … a bad way of using boundaries .
Perfect insight Michael. Advance of “us” is the key!
Enjoyed this! Also made me think of the book The Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong (David Orr). Another place where the popular conclusion seems to fall apart once you dig into the whole poem!